Part 3: The Inner Circle

I just finished Michelle Obama’s Becoming. Michelle writes lovingly about lasting friends from childhood, college and her early jobs. (For example, Valerie Jarrett became a confidant when Michelle was working at Chicago City Hall.) Once Michelle was on the world’s stage, friends who knew her before she was FLOTUS grew to be even more valuable as the White House bubble limited her circle.

What Michelle describes, essentially the difficulty in developing new, intimate friendships in mid-life is common. Most of us in the middle of life are consumed by work, family and household obligations. We rely on past connections, if we spare any time at all for maintaining friendships. We give lip-service to the significance of friends, but for me, it wasn’t until major life events hit that I realized how continually I need a sisterhood.

Moving was a test for me on how to cultivate new relationships and add to my inner circle. In leaving home, I was giving up the proximity of loyal intimates at a time when I also knew that I would need even more people around me to hug. It’s been over a year and there are a growing number of women who I’m thrilled to get to know. Within this widening tribe, there are a special few who I feel particularly devoted to, friends I’ve been waiting my whole life for.  

The sign that drew me to the neighborhood and a new kindred spirit

When our realtor first turned the corner into our neighborhood, before we even saw the house, I spotted a woman wearing a progressive T-shirt outside her house. Next to her porch was a ‘Hate Has No Home Here’ sign. I literally said, out loud, “I don’t know what the house is like, but I already love the neighbors.” It turned out both the house and the neighborhood were a perfect fit.

A few weeks after the move, I ran up to this new neighbor as she was piling into her car with her son, work bags and carrying a can of diet soda. “You don’t know me yet, but you’re the reason we moved here!” I sounded deranged, I am sure, but she hugged me without a word. The time we’ve spent together doesn’t justify how much I cherish her. With texts, gulps of shared time sprinkled between life’s demands, and little acts of kindness for each other, we pretty much adore each other. Shane joked recently that this friend and I were going to open a B&B in Vermont together. She and I decided we’d prefer Santa Barbara.

Two other friends came to me through Jack and I met both on the same day: August 4th. With both ladies, our friendships started out sharing parenting conundrums. But what draws me to these lovely souls is not solely our similar contexts as moms. They are each super supportive, candid in a way I need true friends to be, and welcoming to solicitations of time together. I know which snacks they hide from their kids. I am learning how they navigate marriage, work and meals. I’ve come to know them by walking, taking our kids on local adventures and asking if there are errands I can run for them. They usually say no, but I’ll keep asking. Accepting help is like a trust fall: can I admit to you when I need help,or accept yours when you offer? We all can do more of that: gifting to others that chance to help. The irony is when we accept little things, big things bloom and we turn new friends into family.

Midsummer, I got a text from a woman who was a ‘friend of a friend of a friend’ who had read my blog piece, ‘A Nice Place to Visit.’ Similarly forced to leave her beloved California because of her husband’s career, someone  had sent her my contact info. At the time of our first chat, we cracked up as it was discovered NEITHER OF US knew the people who had supposedly connected us. I don’t believe in coincidences; I think that’s how God works.

What began as phone chats about moving anxiety (essentially my overbearing relocation advice) has grown into a true sisterhood. Of course we walk, but we’ve also grocery shopped and protested together. We are very different in some endearing ways and I think she’d agree that we are also similar in our mutual affection for each other.

There are other new-found confidants I could describe, but my message on nurturing relationships that can be as meaningful as those from our past is simple: make intimate friendships a priority. Find ways to spend time together, even if it’s just running errands or exercising together.  Offer help when they don’t ask. Ask for help when you would have shied away from it before. Those of us who are managing to just barely endure life’s busiest era can appreciate what Michelle Obama herself had to learn: our sense of belonging in the world is secured by our inner circle.

Share with others:

3,292 thoughts on “Part 3: The Inner Circle”

  1. New Kids on the Block is my favourite band of 90s. They had so many hits! The ones I remember are ‘Tonight’, ‘Baby, I Believe In You’ and their hit ‘Step By Step’. These are real masterpieces, not fake like today! And it is sooo good they have a tour in 2019! So I’m going to visit New Kids on the Block concert this year. The concert setlist is here: [url=]New Kids on the Block tour Anaheim[/url]. Open the page and maybe we can even visit one of the performances together!

  2. New Kids on the Block is my favourite pop-band of 90s. They had so many hits! The ones I remember are ‘Tonight’, ‘Baby, I Believe In You’ and their hit ‘Step By Step’. These are real masterpieces, not fake like today! And it is awesome they have a tour in 2019! So I’m going to visit their concert this year. The concert dates is here: [url=]New Kids on the Block tour Lafayette[/url]. Check it out and maybe we can even visit one of the performances together!

  3. Backstreet Boys BSB are an American rock band. The band was founded on April 20, 1993 in Orlando, Florida, by Lou Pearlman. Now this is the most successful boy band with more than 130 million records sold all around the world. The band was named after a flea market in Orlando, the “backstreet flea market”. In 2019 BB has more than 50 concerts in the US with their tour. Check concerts at [url=]Backstreet Boys tour Sunrise[/url] site. Full list of tour dates & concerts!

  4. Fantastic blog! Do you have any hints for aspiring writers? I’m hoping to start my own site soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m totally confused .. Any suggestions? Many thanks!

  5. [url=]homepage[/url] [url=]biaxin 500[/url] [url=]advair[/url] [url=]indocin[/url] [url=]phenergan[/url] [url=]over the counter tretinoin[/url]

  6. [url=]buy phenergan online[/url] [url=]furosemide 40 mg tablets[/url] [url=]retin-a[/url] [url=]furosemide[/url] [url=]atenolol order[/url] [url=]benicar 20 mg[/url] [url=]buy prednisone[/url] [url=]augmentin penicillin[/url] [url=]kamagra[/url] [url=]trazodone 50mg tablets[/url] [url=]generic yasmin[/url] [url=]advair[/url] [url=]lasix[/url] [url=]kamagra[/url] [url=]neurontin[/url] [url=]cymbalta cheap[/url] [url=]elimite cream[/url] [url=]biaxin[/url]

  7. [url=]atenolol 25 mg tablets[/url] [url=]i found it[/url] [url=]generic lexapro[/url] [url=]furosemide brand name[/url] [url=]lexapro canada[/url] [url=]motrin 800mg[/url]

  8. [url=]amoxil 500mg capsules[/url] [url=]buy tretinoin cream online[/url] [url=]clonidine hcl 0.3 mg tablets[/url] [url=]prednisone[/url] [url=]mobic tablets[/url] [url=]generic albendazole online[/url] [url=]buy cipro online[/url] [url=]buy retin-a[/url] [url=]seroquel for children[/url] [url=]seroquel[/url] [url=]amitriptyline hcl 25 mg tab[/url] [url=]albenza over the counter[/url]

  9. [url=]buy advair diskus[/url] [url=]indocin[/url] [url=]generic bupropion xl[/url] [url=]purchase azithromycin 500 mg tablets[/url] [url=]where can i buy diflucan without a prescription[/url] [url=]albuterol atrovent[/url] [url=]mobic[/url] [url=]yasmin[/url] [url=]prozac[/url] [url=]tretinoin cream[/url] [url=]buy retin-a[/url] [url=]sildenafil[/url] [url=]indocin[/url] [url=]benicar[/url] [url=]amoxicillin where to buy[/url] [url=]hydrochlorothiazide[/url] [url=]diflucan[/url] [url=]hyzaar 50-12.5[/url] [url=]diflucan[/url]

  10. [url=]your domain name[/url] [url=]albendazole generic[/url] [url=]torsemide 5 mg[/url] [url=]hydrochlorothiazide[/url] [url=]buy prednisone[/url] [url=]rimonabant[/url] [url=]recommended reading[/url] [url=]cardura 8 mg[/url] [url=]seroquel[/url] [url=]retin-a[/url]

  11. [url=]sildenafil india[/url] [url=]more about the author[/url] [url=]soft tabs cialis[/url] [url=]buying diflucan online[/url]

  12. [url=]cheap amoxil[/url] [url=]phenergan[/url] [url=]tretinoin cream[/url] [url=]buy allopurinol online[/url] [url=]cafergot[/url] [url=]bupropion[/url] [url=]neurontin[/url]

  13. [url=]cafergot[/url] [url=]buy vermox[/url] [url=]zoloft 50 mg[/url] [url=]propecia for less[/url] [url=]amitriptyline[/url] [url=]metformin[/url] [url=]prednisolone[/url]

  14. [url=]elimite[/url] [url=]glucophage[/url] [url=]crestor 5mg[/url] [url=]cheap prozac for sale[/url] [url=]buy nolvadex[/url] [url=]trazodone tablets[/url] [url=]vantin[/url] [url=]valtrex[/url] [url=]vermox[/url] [url=]continued[/url] [url=]indocin[/url] [url=]lexapro online pharmacy[/url] [url=]indocin[/url] [url=]viagra buy online[/url] [url=]prozac[/url] [url=]found it for you[/url] [url=]ampicillin[/url] [url=]avodart[/url] [url=]celexa[/url]

  15. [url=]order tadalafil online[/url] [url=]diflucan tablets[/url] [url=]sildenafil buy online[/url] [url=]helpful resources[/url] [url=]nexium[/url] [url=]buy sildenafil citrate online[/url] [url=]fluconazole buy online without prescription[/url]

  16. [url=]cipro[/url] [url=]sildenafil[/url] [url=]propranolol[/url] [url=]lexapro online[/url] [url=]bupropion[/url] [url=]clonidine[/url] [url=]resources[/url] [url=]tretinoin cream[/url] [url=]albendazole[/url] [url=]toprol xl generic[/url]

  17. [url=]vardenafil[/url] [url=]amitriptyline[/url] [url=]atarax[/url] [url=]glucotrol[/url] [url=]diflucan[/url]

  18. [url=]for more info[/url] [url=]lexapro xanax[/url] [url=]furosemide 40 mg tablets online[/url] [url=]online diflucan[/url] [url=]cafergot tablets[/url] [url=]cheap generic nexium[/url] [url=]albendazole tablets[/url] [url=]atarax prescription[/url] [url=]kamagra 100 chewable tablets[/url] [url=]site[/url] [url=]nexium 20 mg[/url] [url=]buy lexapro online[/url] [url=]buy antabuse[/url]

  19. [url=]continue[/url] [url=]generic yasmin[/url] [url=]tofranil[/url] [url=]wellbutrin without a prescription[/url] [url=]bupropion[/url] [url=]stromectol[/url] [url=]cafergot[/url] [url=]tadalafil[/url] [url=]buy cheap levitra online[/url] [url=]silagra[/url] [url=]allopurinol without prescription[/url] [url=]tricor[/url] [url=]clonidine[/url] [url=]motilium domperidone 10mg[/url] [url=]albuterol 108 mcg[/url] [url=]atarax hydroxyzine[/url] [url=]lexapro[/url]

  20. [url=]where can i buy tretinoin[/url] [url=]nolvadex[/url] [url=]cost of meloxicam[/url] [url=]furosemide[/url] [url=]order cialis[/url] [url=]valtrex[/url] [url=]buy bupropion online[/url] [url=]cafergot[/url] [url=]cipro[/url] [url=]indocin[/url] [url=]paxil for anxiety disorder[/url] [url=]prednisolone[/url] [url=]albendazole[/url] [url=]order lasic no prescription[/url] [url=]cipro[/url]

  21. [url=]cheap metformin[/url] [url=]buy generic celexa[/url] [url=]full article[/url]

  22. [url=]diflucan no prescription[/url] [url=]cheap furosemide[/url] [url=]sildenafil india[/url] [url=]antabuse buy canada[/url] [url=]kamagra gold 100mg[/url] [url=]kamagra gel oral[/url] [url=]kamagra gold[/url] [url=]buy fluconazole[/url] [url=]buy atenolol[/url] [url=]sildenafil citrate 100mg pills[/url]

  23. [url=]100 mg furosemide[/url] [url=]as example[/url] [url=]lexapro pills[/url] [url=]generic kamagra[/url]

  24. [url=]buy artane[/url] [url=]propranolol order[/url] [url=]cheap valtrex[/url] [url=]avodart[/url] [url=]tadalafil canada[/url] [url=]viagra[/url]

  25. [url=]indocin[/url] [url=]baclofen[/url] [url=]atenolol[/url] [url=]cardura for bph[/url] [url=]over the counter sildenafil[/url] [url=]purchase valtrex online[/url] [url=]diflucan[/url] [url=]clomid buy[/url] [url=]generic phenergan[/url] [url=]viagra[/url] [url=]cipro[/url] [url=]where to buy nexium online[/url] [url=]buy cheap zithromax[/url] [url=]neurontin[/url] [url=]elimite[/url] [url=]orlistat diet pills[/url] [url=]estrace[/url] [url=]albendazole over the counter[/url] [url=]atarax 25 mg[/url]

  26. [url=]colchicine[/url] [url=]amoxicillin[/url] [url=]kamagra[/url] [url=]augmentin[/url] [url=]propecia[/url] [url=]tadalafil 40 mg[/url] [url=]buy advair diskus[/url] [url=]paxil ssri[/url] [url=]where to buy sildenafil citrate online[/url] [url=]how can i get cialis over the counter[/url]

  27. [url=]atenolol[/url] [url=]diclofenac sodium 75mg ec tablets[/url] [url=]colchicine[/url] [url=]diclofenac 75 mg[/url] [url=]triamterene hydrochlorothiazide[/url]

  28. [url=]cialis[/url] [url=]our website[/url] [url=]artane[/url] [url=]levitra[/url] [url=]tretinoin gel[/url] [url=]silagra online[/url] [url=]buy lexapro[/url] [url=]cialis[/url] [url=]biaxin 500[/url] [url=]zoloft pills[/url] [url=]lexapro[/url]

  29. [url=]celexa[/url] [url=]buy cafergot[/url] [url=]buy hydrochlorothiazide[/url] [url=]where can i buy tretinoin[/url] [url=]glucophage[/url] [url=]generic cialis soft tabs[/url] [url=]buy diclofenac sod ec 75 mg[/url] [url=]cialis[/url] [url=]cheap cipro[/url] [url=]buy tofranil[/url] [url=]albuterol[/url] [url=]seroquel 50 mg for sleep[/url] [url=]strattera[/url]

  30. [url=]dapoxetine 60mg[/url] [url=]prednisolone[/url] [url=]acyclovir 800 mg[/url] [url=]robaxin cost[/url] [url=]lipitor[/url] [url=]cialis france[/url] [url=]generic for avodart 0.5 mg[/url] [url=]ventolin[/url] [url=]buy viagra soft[/url] [url=]aldactone for pcos[/url] [url=]benicar generic[/url] [url=]xenical[/url] [url=]clonidine 0.1mg tablets[/url] [url=]order amitriptyline[/url] [url=]cost of allopurinol[/url] [url=]aldactone hyperkalemia[/url] [url=]proscar 5mg[/url] [url=]trazodone 150[/url] [url=]dapoxetine[/url] [url=]robaxin for dogs[/url] [url=]generic elimite[/url] [url=]rexall pharmacy amoxicillin 500mg[/url] [url=]buspar online[/url] [url=]atarax cost[/url]

  31. [url=]azithromycin[/url] [url=]propranolol[/url] [url=]lisinopril[/url] [url=]buy nexium[/url] [url=]advair[/url] [url=]buy lexapro[/url] [url=]biaxin[/url] [url=]paxil breast cancer[/url] [url=]bupropion[/url] [url=]hydrochlorothiazide[/url] [url=]vermox[/url] [url=]lipitor[/url] [url=]azithromycin[/url] [url=]buy valtrex without prescription[/url] [url=]prozac[/url]

  32. [url=]atarax online[/url] [url=]antabuse medication[/url] [url=]generic for lexapro[/url] [url=]atenolol no prescription[/url] [url=]diflucan tablets[/url] [url=]where can i buy sildenafil[/url] [url=]atenolol tablets[/url] [url=]buy fluconazol[/url] [url=]toprol xl[/url]

  33. Oh my goodness! Awesome article dude! Many thanks, However I am going through issues with your RSS. I don’t know the reason why I can’t join it. Is there anybody having the same RSS issues? Anyone who knows the answer can you kindly respond? Thanks!!

  34. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You obviously know what youre talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your weblog when you could be giving us something informative to read?

  35. Want to safely Share files from any computer to mobile gadget? Check out SHAREit APP! It works on Windows PCs and Android gadgets, very easy in use and user-friendly. Download SHAREit for PC from here: and share files between your friends, family or strangers!

  36. hello there and thank you for your information – I’ve definitely picked up anything new from right here.
    I did however expertise several technical points using this
    website, since I experienced to reload the web site a lot of times
    previous to I could get it to load correctly. I had been wondering if your hosting is OK?
    Not that I am complaining, but sluggish loading instances times will very frequently affect
    your placement in google and could damage your quality score if advertising
    and marketing with Adwords. Well I am adding this RSS to my e-mail and could look out for much more
    of your respective interesting content. Ensure that you update this again very soon. arsenal drakt

  37. Hey there just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let
    you know a few of the images aren’t loading correctly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue.
    I’ve tried it in two different web browsers and both show the same results.

  38. I like blues bands! I really do! And my favourite soul band is Johnnyswim! The members Amanda Sudano and Abner Ramirez are about to give more than 40 concerts for their fans in 2019 and 2020! To know more about Johnnyswim in 2019 and 2020 visit site [url=][/url]. You aren’t going to miss any concert by Johnnyswim this year if you click on the link!