Home with Mom

My mom has been my keystone, even when we lived thousands of miles apart. Being with her has always felt like home. Sure, we can irritate and frustrate each other and in some ways, are opposites, but no matter how much we bicker, we relish each other’s company.

I love the way she smells, a combination of Irish Spring soap and the soft-leaded pencils she special orders from my hometown stationery store.  I love that we both believe deeply in destiny, god’s omnipresence and the universal wisdom of women and age. My mom taught me that dreams are opportunities for interpreting our psyches. That a day without reading is a day without purpose. That nothing feels better on an upset stomach than diet 7-Up.

When I left my full-time job at Choicelunch three years ago, my mom and I had more time to spend together. Each Sunday, we’d plan our week and go to matinees, have lunch or shop at Target. When the treatments began for her breast cancer last year, my mom and I became even more entwined. I’d drive across town to her condo in order to treat a deep wound left by a botched lumpectomy and she’d take me out for eggs at one of  three or four favorite lunch places – we both love breakfast foods at non-breakfast times.

When it was clear that Shane, Jack and I had to leave California for Shane’s job, Shane and I took my mom out to a trendy burger joint. In a cavernous restaurant with Edison light bulbs and exposed brick, I begged her to move with us. My dad had died just a few months before and mom blew me away with her willingness to leave all her life-long friends, our extended family and her beloved native state full of sunshine and comfort. Mom’s bravery was tested as we discussed the living situation, whether she’d sell her condo and how she’d manage visits with my brother Alex and his family in Portland, but she remained enthusiastic and very encouraging.

As the reality of the move across the country set in, I grew increasingly nervous. Mom and I hadn’t lived with each other for close to 25 years. It’s one thing to meet up for an hour or two and discuss Colbert’s monologues or go to doctor’s appointments together.  It’s another thing to figure out how to share space, without intruding on each other’s privacy. Shane and my mom have a deep connection, but their relationship has never depended on the other’s willingness to close the bathroom door.

I worried that her inclination to keep newspapers stacked untouched for days would drive me mad. I thought about how a shared calendar could be set up to inform everyone of the schedule (a schedule I dictated.) I created mental lists to codify the housecleaners’ schedule, the cable bill breakdown and the rules of engagement with Jack who’d likely be confused on who exactly was the ‘boss.’  Living with grandma was different than visiting her once a week and I worried she’d overindulge Jack. My need to control would cause her frustration but my own fears of chaos would surely drive me towards bossiness.

Have you read ‘Of Mice and Men?’ I haven’t since 6th grade (Thank you Mrs. Beebee!) but I remember the scene when Lennie crushes his puppy by petting it so hard, he squeezed it to death.  Lennie was so lonely and desperate for the puppy’s companionship, he suffocated it. As the two months between our small family’s move to VA and my mom’s arrival approached, I grew more and more anxious about how this would all workout. I wanted her close, but as the big move loomed, I increasingly worried we could both suffocate with the proximity. Like Lennie, we were both prone to loneliness, but the potential was there to take the breath out of our friendship.

It’s been two weeks since I went to California to bring mom back to Virginia. We’ve endured some a few sleepless nights, a torn ligament in her knee and one breathless marathon-like sprint through the Kansas City airport with three bags, a wheelchair, a cane and her giant green faux-fur winter coat circa 1996.

Our intertwined lives are a work in progress, a puzzle with many holes left to patch, but something magical is transpiring.

After the initial logistical challenges, I find myself relaxing. Her humor is infectious, for Jack, Shane and I. We’ve spent the last few nights building routines; I make dinner, she clears the dishes. I get show-time snacks prepped, she turns on the electric blankets, lays them across the blue couch and by the time Jeopardy starts, the L-shaped nest is warm and toasty. Shane still tucks me in bed and we cuddle each night, but on Tuesday night, instead of him solitarily returning to the TV to wait for the election results to come in, he and my mom celebrated collectively at the miraculous Democratic victory.

Don’t get me wrong, this is all a work-in-progress. Today Jack stomped downstairs at 6:20 am and likely woke my mom up and there’s a good bet I will roll my eyes at her more than once today (I can be nasty when I am hungry!) But my mom has made me feel more at home in my home the past few days than I have since I boarded that plane back in October. Thank you, Mom, for always being home to me.

 

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938 thoughts on “Home with Mom”

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  100. Viagra wykazuje skutecznosc najczesciej do 4-6 godzin, ale w niektorych przypadkach nawet do 10 godzin. W organizmie czlowieka utrzymuje sie przez ok. 20 godzin. Kolejna tabletke mozesz wziac po uplywie 24 godzin, kiedy poprzednia juz zostala calkowicie usunieta z organizmu.

  101. Naukowcy odkryli, że organizm wykorzystuje tlenek azotu do poszerzenia naczyń krwionośnych. Cytrynian sildenafilu, związek, którego znakiem towarowym jest Viagra, pomaga wiązać tlenek azotu do receptorów, które umożliwiają rozluźnienie tętnic helikinowych, co z kolei zwiększa przepływ krwi do miękkiej tkanki prącia i wyniki – o ile nikt psuje nastrój – w erekcji. W zeszłym tygodniu ogłoszono, że Wielka Brytania stanie się pierwszym krajem, który udostępni Viagrę bez recepty bez recepty . Działanie zostało zainicjowane przez Agencję Regulacyjną ds. Produktów Medycznych i Opieki Zdrowotnej (MHRA) w nadziei, że uniemożliwi to mężczyznom korzystanie z nieuregulowanych stron internetowych, gdzie leki na ED stanowią duży i lukratywny czarny rynek.

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  104. Co jeszcze mi nie mówi? Pakiet pigułek +5 Pakiet pigułek Dla trenerki relacji Cathy Meyer recepta Viagry sygnalizowała koniec jej małżeństwa. Spędziła 11 lat walcząc w bezpłciowym małżeństwie – jej mąż powiedział jej, że po prostu nie widział, co to jest „wielka sprawa” na temat seksu. Cathy wypróbowała każdą technikę uwodzenia i kiedy nic go nie zainteresowało, w końcu namówiła go, by zobaczył urologa, aby sprawdzić, czy nie ma żadnego fizycznego powodu jego braku pożądania. „Siedziałem w łóżku, kiedy usłyszałem, jak wchodzi po schodach. Zatrzymał się przy naszym łóżku, wyjął z kieszeni butelkę pigułek, otworzył górną szufladę nocnego stolika i powiedział do mnie: „To jest butelka Viagry; od teraz, kiedy chcesz seksu, wszystko, co musisz zrobić, to poprosić o to. – Wrzucił butelkę do szuflady i kopnął ją stopą. W tym momencie wiedziałem, że moje małżeństwo się skończyło – pisze Cathy na swoim blogu rozwodowym.

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  108. esz mieć erekcję tylko wtedy, gdy będziesz pobudzony. Viagra to marka leku produkowanego przez Pfizer. Dla kogo jest Viagra? Viagra jest stosowana w leczeniu zaburzeń erekcji, częstej choroby u mężczyzn. Większość mężczyzn doświadcza problemów z erekcją na pewnym etapie życia, które mogą mieć przyczyny fizyczne lub psychiczne. Jeśli uważasz, że regularnie walczysz o erekcję, możesz zostać zdiagnozowany jako cierpiący na impotencję . Możliwe przyczyny zaburzeń erekcji mogą obejmować stan fizyczny, taki jak cukrzyca lub czynniki psychologiczne, takie jak lęk i stres. Jak mogę kupić Viagrę online? Viagra jest s

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  115. niejszone lub podwójne widzenie lub w skrajnych przypadkach ślepota Niebieski odcień Twojej wizji Długotrwała, bolesna lub niewłaściwa erekcja penisa (priapizm) Zaczerwienienie, pieczenie lub obrzęk oka Niepokój Inne leki mogą wpływać na działanie Viagry, a stosowanie niektórych innych leków podczas przyjmowania leku nie jest zalecane. Te potencjalne interakcje z lekami zostaną szczegółowo opisane w wytycznych dotyczących leków dostarczonych wraz z receptą. Przygotuj je w całości i natychmiast zwróć uwagę, czy nie czujesz się dobrze podczas przyjmowania leku – nawet jeśli nie przyjmujesz innych leków w tym samym czasie. Stosowany właściwie V

  116. a niektóre mogą nie podejmować działań mających na celu ochronę dobrego samopoczucia. Zrozumienie, gdzie można bezpiecznie kupić leki na zaburzenia erekcji w Internecie, jest zatem niezbędne przed dokonaniem pierwszego zakupu. Gdzie mogę kupić Viagrę online? Nie brakuje aptek internetowych sprzedających Viagrę. Jednak nie wszystkie te apteki sprzedają Viagrę legalnie i bezpiecznie, dlatego ważne jest, aby wiedzieć, komu możesz zaufać. Z tego powodu priorytetem nie powinny być koszty leków na zaburzenia erekcji, ale to, czy apteka internetowa jest akredytowana i czy przestrzegają właściwych procedur . Wybór apteki internetowej na tej podstaw

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  120. y? Podobnie jak wszystkie leki, mogą wystąpić niepożądane skutki uboczne przyjmowania Viagry, nawet jeśli nie każdy miałby takie skutki uboczne . Najczęstsze działania niepożądane są w większości nieszkodliwe i nie powinny powodować żadnych długotrwałych skutków. Około 1 na 100 mężczyzn doświadczy najczęstszych skutków ubocznych, w tym: bóle głowy uderzenia gorąca zatkany nos zawroty głowy lub omdlenia zmiany widzenia, takie jak niewyraźne widzenie, zniekształcenia kolorów lub wrażliwość na światło źle się czuć Jakie są najczęstsze skutki uboczne, jakie może powodować Viagra? Te mniej znane działania niepożądane mogą wystąpić podczas przyj

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  122. i . W bardzo rzadkich przypadkach może wystąpić stan zwany „ priapizmem ”. Priapizm to nazwa bolesnej erekcji trwającej dłużej niż 4 godziny. Zwykle wtedy, gdy Viagra została zażywana w połączeniu z innymi lekami lub nielegalnymi narkotykami (np. Azotanami / poppersami), jest to możliwe nawet wtedy, gdy Viagra jest przyjmowana samodzielnie. Priapizm to poważny stan medyczny, który może być bolesny i prowadzić do długotrwałego uszkodzenia prącia. Jeśli masz wzwód bolesny lub trwa dłużej niż 4 godziny, powinieneś natychmiast zwrócić się o pomoc medyczną. Viagra zaczyna działać około 30-60 minut po jej przyjęciu i trwa około 5 godzin Dla wię

  123. rzypadku pobudzenia seksualnego. Istnieje ryzyko wystąpienia działań niepożądanych w obu przypadkach – Cialis i Sildenafil są uważane za bezpieczne w leczeniu zaburzeń erekcji, ale mogą powodować działania niepożądane. Najczęstsze działania niepożądane to: Bóle głowy Zdenerwowany żołądek Nudności Zawroty głowy Spłukiwanie Ból w mięśniach Nienormalne widzenie Katar lub zablokowany nos Dostępne dawki są takie same dla leków generycznych i markowych – dostępne są trzy dawki leków generycznych i markowych Cialisu; 25 mg, 50 mg lub 100 mg. Ogólnie zalecana dawka początkowa wynosi 50 mg. Jednak niektórzy mężczyźni uważają, że ta dawka nie daje im

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  125. generyczne są mniej skuteczne lub bezpieczne niż ich markowe odpowiedniki. Niektórzy ludzie mogą błędnie sądzić, że lek generyczny jest po prostu tanią alternatywą ziołową lub nokautem, ale tak nie jest. Sildenafil, generyczna Cialis i Cialis są tymi samymi lekami, które zawierają ten sam składnik aktywny i mają takie same wytyczne i przepisy dotyczące leczenia. Lekarz może sprawdzić bezpieczeństwo pacjenta – lekarz oceni przydatność leku Sildenafil przed przepisaniem go pacjentowi. Jeśli nie wierzą, że jesteś odpowiednim kandydatem do produktu generycznego, nie zalecą Ci wersji generycznej ani markowej. Możesz nie być odpowiedni dla genery

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